_When Cindy Kleine was 18 years old, her mother told her that she’d had a passionate love affair with a man who was not Cindy’s father. The affair initially lasted seven years, in the early years of Kleine’s parents’ marriage. This is the simple explanation of what Kleine’s latest documentary, Phyllis and Harold, is about. It’s actually about much more. “What really interests me is the myth of the perfect family. I never quite believed that,” Kleine says. “I just feel like people just don’t talk about the subversive, [secret] stuff.”

Certainly the idea of the “dysfunctional family” is a

major thread in the film, which screens this week in the

Provincetown International Film Festival. But, it’s also about the subjective nature of memory. For example, Kleine’s own recollection of when her mother told her about her affair, differs greatly from her mother’s, with each having her own idea of where, when, and how it took

place. In the film itself, there is an interesting sequence

in which Kleine’s parents recall the early years of their marriage. Their recollections are startlingly opposite. Kleine’s father, Harold, says they were the couple’s “golden years,” while Phyllis, Kleine’s mother, paints a picture of unhappiness, revealing to us how her love affair blossomed during this period.

“Everybody has their story and their reality,” Kleine explains. “No matter how many years [they were together], they still had separate lives.”

There’s more to Phyllis and Harold, than just a personal memoir. One can’t help but consider what all of this says about the very institution of marriage. Can anyone ever know another person, truly? If not, can a marriage still work? Of course, their marriage took place at a time when women’s choices were more limited (and actually, men’s were limited, as well). In the film, Phyllis alludes to this when she profoundly confesses she got married because she thought, “maybe this is the most I could feel [for another person].”

“People got married because they were supposed to get married, "Kleine says.

They also stayed together, despite serious issues, because, as Phyllis mentions in the film, sometimes you have to settle for what you have. "For my mother to leave was impossible," Kleine says. "How was she going to survive? She was totally taken care of." Kleine, herself married to noted theater director André Gregory for 8 years now, says her parents’ marriage did impact her earlier relationships.

Our parents’ lives continue to inform our own for our whole lives. That’s a given. But the choice to document them and present them to the world, as a manner of self-expression, is clearly a difficult one. Miraculously, Kleine says her mother had no problem at all with the idea of appearing in the documentary and laying the family’s skeletons out for all to see, dissect, and judge.

From watching the film, Phyllis’ narcissism is clear. Perhaps this is what made it so easy for her to participate. Still, Harold was presumably unaware of this particular skeleton, and during the filming, Phyllis does renew her relationship with her lover. What was it like for a daughter to create a project that bears witness to her own father’s betrayal?

The film took over 12 years to complete. In the process,

both of Kleine’s parents passed away, so they never got to

see the final version. In a way, their aging is a part of the

story, as well. “I’ve always seen it... as about the mystery of time

passing... It all sort of happens in a flash... That’s what I was trying to work with, how fleeting everything is,” Kleine

says. To that end, there’s a wonderful scene where Phyllis and Harold read their old love letters from before they got married. The monotone with which Harold reads these

wildly romantic letters, is that of a 12-year-old reading aloud a required essay in English class. Meanwhile, Phyllis

blushes as she reads a letter in which she berates her betrothed for caring more about his parents than he does about her. Time changes everything.

Now that Phyllis and Harold is completed, Kleine says she is not eager to jump into another project. She plans to spend the summer in her house in Truro, studying painting and contemplating her next move.

“It was long and it was difficult, and I’m certainly not in any hurry to make another film,” she confesses.

Phyllis and Harold screens on Friday at 7 p.m., at the Schoolhouse @ WOMR, 494 Commercial Street, and Sunday at 2 p.m., at the Whalers Wharf Cinema, 237 Commercial Street, as part of the Provincetown International Film Festival. For tickets and information, visit www.ptownfilmfest.org or call 487-FILM.